We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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