I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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