i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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