P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
