did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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