I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
