Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
His nipple licking is glorious
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
