also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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