I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
