guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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