what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
