You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
