Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize