Tell her she can't have a vagina
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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