weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She announced her abortion via fbk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
