We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
