he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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