i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
