Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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