these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
