Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my shit smells like andre
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My vagina is very pro this idea
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
