I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
