I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
