I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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