At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
