At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
