I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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