so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
