i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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