my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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