don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
