That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize