My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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