I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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