i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
