I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Drake has all the answers
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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