hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
