I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
