Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
