Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
