I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize