I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
