Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
