So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
