yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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