Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
