so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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