I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
two words: eviction party
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
