Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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