ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize