you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
