dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
