I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
