Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
