mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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