6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
