Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
