Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
