So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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