I want to walk on stilts...naked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
